another version of finality

for & from edwin torres

‘s workshop — writing the voice of the body

i explored a million different bodies

with my hands

so i could come home and tell you about the olive pit

and all i know is that we are all the same

horrible encasement of chicken wire. 

though some spidered, some chemical burst.

but everywhere a million underneaths & 

eternal places to push that will give

till you brought me down 

lowered me into bone

terrifying axis

white-still like solid tv static

it was the forever dead end 

with no more to see

a floor

you couldn’t hear me     i was screaming

DON’T LEAVE ME HERE   DON’T LEAVE ME    PLEASE

i didn’t want to believe finality 

then you put your hands on my shoulders

& you pushed me

into marrow. 

(underwater bioluminescence     airtight bag full of crystalline wind chime   bubbling green tchotchkes     popping & convulsing into stars       seismic gurgles         flying things    sudden creature HOOOHOOO humming open-mouthed            secret water          motor breath

      a tectonic bird rises from a crack

      shakes the water from his wings

      & slides a cassette tape between my eager teeth

                  gigantic hum overtaking)

did you know there’s a lake on the floor of the deep sea?

you can put your finger against the edges of the world

and push and then, wait! comes more